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Saturday, June 19, 2004 i just got woken up by kirk and bob banging on my window at 1:45 to come outside and chat with them a bit. i dont think kirk realizes how scary it is for a girl to be woken up to BANGING on her window in the middle of the night...oh well..it was nice to get out and talk for a bit. this whole transfer and moving situation is stressing me out big time. its so HARD to find a place to live when you're not in the area and having to figure out whats a nice place to live, how much you can afford, and what will be the easiest time to do it. of course having the district managers ignore all your personal needs to suit them is frustrating as hell. i dont exactly know how they thought i could find a place in four days, pack my apt up down here and move in to a new apt all before the 20th of june. the first apt i liked isnt even available till the 18th of july. they keep hearing what i have to say but ignore it and than play dumb afterwards..like how i told them i couldnt stay at my parents in between moving into an apt and than coming back to talk to them and them seeming shocked and surprised when i told them again that i COULDNT do that...because they thought thats what i was doing..staying with my parents. AHHHHH!! all in all im frustrated and tired of dealing with it. ive had nothing but headaches since this all started and doing it all alone has made me miserable and lonely in the process. steve is going to move in with me but thats not for several more months so..not having him around to help has sucked even more. i know he feels useless seeing me so upset but there isnt much he can do. when he moves up it will be easier to find a place to live together and it will be cheaper too. the rate of living in northern virginia is insane!!!! the $600 i pay for my 2br apt down here couldnt get me a 1br shanty in the worst part of town up there. damn its frustrating. BLAH! oh well.. i know this might shock some people who know my past but i messaged meri today. i had read her journal the other day out of the blue and read a post that brought some things to mind. i know she'll try to figure out why i did and think something different about it, which is completely understandable, but it was really an innocent message. she seemed so sad and down in what i read that i just wanted to..i dont know. im honestly not sure what i wanted to say...it just something i did. we've all grown up so much and thinking back there is much i would have done differently and *sighs* i guess it seems silly to want to try to right a wrong that probably should just be left alone. now i feel bad at the thought of the message upsetting her....it wasnt intended that way. we didnt speak, i wasnt expecting to...but bleh i dont know. *sighs* so yeah..i guess thats all thats going on right now. i'll be moving soon...i'll let everyone know specifically when as soon as i find that out. i'll miss blacksburg..i really enjoy it down here but i need to move on, cant stay here forever. sorry if i havent gotten a chance to talk to everyone lately, as you can see things are hectic. i have just a lil less than 2 weeks to get things worked out before steve and i go on vacation for a week. i cant wait for that...its the one thing i keep looking forward to..10 days in wilmington with him. yay. moving closer to him will be nice too..no more 5 hour drives..he'll be a 2 hours away till he moves in! i cant wait to start that next step with him..... so! all of you guys in the burg that want to hang out before i leave make sure you get in touch with me somehow so i dont leave without saying goodbye. i'll be back down of course to visit but i wont know when!! you got at least a week left with me!!! i'll definitely miss you all... lilwolf 2:27 AM 
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