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Tuesday, October 15, 2002 so my mom went to the doctor again..he told her she'll need to keep her long cast on for 6 weeks and then maybe go to a shorter cast. She's going nuts..i guess she's now getting restless. I really wanna go see her but with this sniper on the loose it doesnt make it easy. My parents dont want me to come home and put myself in a risky area but i want to be home to help my mom. GRRR stupid person..i really hope he gets caught soon. Everything going on up there freaks me out because ALL of my family lives up there not to mention lots of friends. I've become so paranoid its not even funny. oh well. today is the 15th..cant help but remember that chris comes back into port today. blah. i dont know why i still think of him...but i've had this countdown in my head forever now. He's back today. I cant help wondering how he is...how his 2 months went....if he'll come down to visit....or if he'll even call me. No one has heard from him in the last two months......i tried emailing but he didnt get back in touch with me. I dont know what to do about all of this..or how i feel. It confuses me. Id be happy if i could go one day without thinking of him, but of course that seems way too much to ask. *sighs* work...work is driving me up a freaking wall. I dont know how to make things better short of walkin out and never looking back. I go in there and do the best i can and its now getting thrown back at me. I try my hardest and I learn quickly..i know everything about the store possible. Tracy even calls me her right hand person because if anything happened i would be in charge. RAR yet that seems to cause more problems than solve them. People seem to resent the fact i know so much...that things get turned to me so often. I just dont know what to do anymore...am i suppose to fake it?...pretend like i dont know? blah...soon...i'll get to leave. soon. lilwolf 11:51 AM 
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