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Sunday, May 19, 2002 today was such a long day at work. *sighs* sometimes trying to do the right thing always gets you in trouble no matter what. bleh..everything turned into such a mess. i was so close to just walking out and giving up on everything. when you try so hard to do everything right and give everyone a chance and you come out of it feeling horrible, it makes you feel so terrible..and so alone. i hate when in my head i know i did the right thing but in every other way it feels so wrong. blah. i know im not making much sense and im sorry for that. ive been so tired lately...getting so fed up with so many things. im frustrated at myself more and more with every day that passes and its getting to me. going away this weekend might be the best thing for me. i feel so drained lately. like everything takes such a mental and physical toll on me. people have been getting on me that ive lost too much weight, yet i didnt set out to do that. i guess its just been a reaction to how ive been feeling lately, and maybe i need to take a look at that and do something. who knows..at this point im just too tired to do that. writing that makes me realize how bad it is. its always hard doing the right thing, and its never easy doing the hard thing...seems like a never ending struggle. *sighs* for what its worth i am really sorry if i hurt anyones feelings today..i was trying to do my job to the best that i can. i was trying to do the right thing..and if i stepped on toes im sorry. i dont think id apologize for what i did, cause i did what i thought was right..but i apologize if the way i did it hurt anyone. since i keep repeating myself i'll end this... lilwolf 11:45 PM 
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