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Monday, April 29, 2002 sorry i havent been posting on here lately. i guess ive been stressing out over other stuff and working so much that im not taking the time to put thoughts down. i dont know how things are, odd huh? question is if i dont know, then who does? *sighs* i feel like ive been asleep for weeks and im just walking in a daze. nothing feels real anymore, even sleep isnt an escape any longer. i feel extremely lost. ive been writing a lot lately, poems seem to be flowing out nonstop, if they're any good who knows..but at least im writing a lot more. the only frustrating thing is they seem to be so hmm...i dont know what the word is...before they used to be happy...optimistic..hopeful..now they seem void of that. i guess it reflects the time im at right now but i wish it didnt. blah i dont know how to explain it. a few more days and i get to go home for the weekend, im really looking forward to it. i could use a really big hug from my mom right now and my little brother picking on me. funny how those things become so much more important after you cant have them on a regular basis. i guess its true that you learn to appreciate what you have. if any of the poems turn out decent ill make sure to post one up (though id rather not make you suffer through reading them)..for now im putting up these lyrics that ive noticed steph has quoted before..but its a good song and the words are perfect to how i feel lately. I can't meet Losing sleep over this No I can't And now I cannot stop pacing Give me a few hours I'll have this all sorted out If my mind would just stop racing Cause I cannot stand still I can be this unsturdy This cannot be happening This is over my head But underneath my feet Cause by tomoroow morning I'll have this thing beat And everything will be back to the way that it was I wish that it was just that easy Cause I'm waiting for tonight Been waiting for tomoroow I'm somewhere in between What is real Just a dream ------lifehouse, somewhere in between lilwolf 3:15 AM 
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