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Tuesday, February 19, 2002 so much is going on that im just so tired. minus the lack of sleep i just feel emotionally exhausted. i miss my family so much now and i cant wait till i get to go home for a few days in the beginning of march. i cant help and want it to be a long visit but ill take the 3 days that i can get. it will be nice to just get away from everything for awhile, sometimes if you stay in one place so long you start missing out on the small things. im also now involved in a waiting game thats going to drive me mad by the weeks end. i hate waiting..especially when everything inside me makes me think the outcome will be bad. *sighs* i know im not very optimistic but im trying..i really am. not going to help that the person i want to turn to is going to be gone for that WHOLE week and then some. la la la i think i'll go mad. as for work, ugh. major budget cuts came into effect this week and i had to majorly kill the schedule. I hated doing that..makes me feel bad taking the hours away from my friends. i know each person wants the max hour they can get because they all have something to pay...or things they need money for. *sighs* the worst part of the job is when you have to do that to the employees and its just hard considering all of them are my friends. hopefully it will loosen up some in march so we just need to get through these last two weeks of feb. this also means that management is going to be overworked, god i cant wait. i feel like all i do is work and i never have anything to show for it except this constant headache and worry. i want to go to sleep and not wake up for like a month. then maybe i would feel like i had the strength again to live my life and deal with all the obstacles. right now i just feel like giving up. lilwolf 12:37 PM 
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