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Sunday, October 07, 2001 bleh what a weekend. started off good and now its just crashing. not that im not having a great time here with my parents, cause i am. being with them makes me happy..playing with puppy makes me happy. just..so many other things going on. i guess im upset and scared about a lot of things. i wish i could just come out and say everything on my mind but i cant, not without fucking something up. *sighs* every worried that the one thing that will truly make you happy will just walk by you? that if you make one mistake you fuck it up for good?? so you end up sitting around worrying over it, praying that you dont make a major mistake and mess everything up. yet in the process you end up so paranoid over it you drive yerself crazy. most likely driving you to do something totally stupid and messing everything up!!! see what im reduced to...geezus..im like a crazy person just ranting off without even making sense. sometimes i worry i cant handle all of this, i feel like im hanging on by a very thin wire and with each incident that occurs it gets thinner and thinner. what will happen when that wire just completely snaps?? what am i going to do? ive never felt this close to that edge before.....it worries me. RAR! enough. i've had my fill....enough. lilwolf 11:33 AM 
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