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Thursday, May 03, 2001 i get to go home tomorrow......yay. i just need some time away to regroup.....i dont know whats going on with me. sometimes i feel like im on the verge of just breaking down and thats not good.......i've been told by more than one person to just take some time and relax, but i dont have the time to. blah. this rollercoster im on just needs to stop, i dont feel like being out of control of my own emotions. i cant tell you how many times this week i've just started crying......or been on the verge of tears....and i NEVER cry. blah. justin has been great......did i mention that he brought me flowers tuesday?? i came home from work and these gorgeous flowers are sitting on my dresser........turns out he bought them for me to make me smile. it definitely works......everytime i look at it i cant help but smile and think what a great friend he is. he always listens to me rant......and i dont know what i'd do without him. thank ya babe i love ya!!! i wish everything came as easy to me as my relationship with justin does.......its so simple and pure. i think its why it matters so much to me. my relationships with other people are a big source of whats been going on with me lately.....with the exception of justin and steph...everything has gotten so confusing. im hoping this weekend away will help settle things down for me......give me some time to sort things out and figure out what i want. maybe the people i've been stressing over aren't really worth it.....maybe they are....who knows....i need this weekend to figure it out. *sighs* in more ways than one..... lilwolf 11:23 AM 
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