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Friday, April 13, 2001 its been a long day! yay for finally getting our ethernet back!!! today was a good day! woke up early, (only bad thing was I had another restless night and didn't get much sleep) and ran some errands. I had lunch with a friend, which was really nice. Hopefully I'll do that more often now!! after that i had to rush home to change for work, when i ran in i saw stephy talking to alan! rrr he had his bike out!!! I wish i had time to get a ride, though i dont know if he would since the accident......oh well I'll bug him later about it! so i go to work at 1, work till around 4 then had to run to foxridge to straighten stuff out about next year! turns out everything is ok, but deanna and stephy need to talk things out and i'll work with what comes out of that. after that i went to say hi to justin since i still had about 10 mins to kill on my break. Then it was back to work till 9pm! my feet hurt sooooooo much from walking around that store, I think i answered the phone at least 50 or 60 times today! got my schedule straightened out for next week and then took off for home, god i was sooooo happy to be home! i talked to some friends, made plans to see tim tomorrow before i leave, shocking isn't it?? i wonder if i'll actually get to see him, heh, it'd be nice if i did, i really do miss him. its been something thats been lingering for awhile now, maybe this will be a step in the right direction. after that justin came over, we had some ice cream and i tried to cheer him up but i dont think i did a great job on it. =[ i hope he feels better soon. im sorry if this is kinda rambeling on, im really tired and im about to head to sleep. I just cant get my head to quiet down. figured out somebody still reads my blog, I didn't think he did. funny, you'd think after all he reads he'd make an effort to do something about everything, but no........of course not. had a conversation with someone today that just reaffirmed me being the "wrong kind of friend", hard for me to take.......but im trying.....i really am just bear with me. Im also really worried about going home tomorrow, *sighs*. I have no idea what to expect from my father and im terrified to find out. Not speaking to him for a month now has just gotten to me, I wake up from dream after dream about different situations where he's just completely turned away from me and doesn't even recognize me. Im driving myself nuts, aren't i?? i think about things to much and make them worse than they are......i know i do but with some things i just cant help it. im trying to fix everything.....today was a step to fix something in one part of my life, tomorrow will be a step in another part..........the third, is not one i can do......at least not now... *sighs* or ever.. lilwolf 1:07 AM 
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