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Friday, March 23, 2001 ok after lots of work, i got my page almost to the way i want!! what do ya think?? I also need suggestions on what to put on my side bar!! if you guys can think of anything let me know!!! i'll update my daily horoscope....so all geminis will benefit!! I cant think of anything else to put up there. I thought about putting the quotes up....but I like having them archived so I'll keep them on my blogger till i figure something else out. big shout outs to justin and amy for helping me out with this page!!! thx guys....i couldn't have done it without you guys!!!! i havent posted anything about whats going on for awhile so here i go: Tuesday: what a terrible day, just everything went wrong. my mom called which means I got into a huge fight with her about my father. She's trying to make me feel guilty enough to come home and try to fix things. Ugh.....it just ended up with me yelling and crying...terrible terrible phone call. After that I dealt with talking to a "friend" who just really doesn't care. Not to mention 15 mins later going through all that again with another friend. I just dont know what to do about it. How is it they can make me feel so completely worthless, no matter how great im feeling. Im not perfect by all means, but I try my hardest to put my friends ahead of me and make sure they're ok. Im always looking out for them......and I cant help feel that I never get that back. Especially with certain people......its like im sorry is suppose to solve everything. Honestly, how many times can you say it before it means nothing?? How many excuses can one person take before just snapping? I sit around and just take everything everyone dishes out to me, I dont let it get to me.....people say i should just tell them what I feel....but I dont, I sit back and take it. but GEEZUS enough is enough!!! i cant sit around and be hurt over people who'd rather waste their time on those who'd hurt them and manipulate them than someone who'd care for them and have fun. i cant sit by any longer and always feel like im in second place.....when im always putting them in first! rrr time to get a back bone and just start standing up for myself. there are enough people around me that love me and dont make me feel like that....so why waste my time on those who do?? *sighs* when do i start believing that?? Wednesday: didn't really do anything. deanna and liz heard that I was upset and invited me over so I went to hang there for awhile. Let me take a min to say how great liz is!! she's the sweetest person ever!!! im so happy that deanna got such a great roomie! she's funny, sweet and gorgeous!! im really glad i've gotten to know her and hope I get to spend more time with her!! she deserves the very best in everything, and I hope she gets it!! LOVE YA LIZZER!!! ok...heh....back on subject!! went to deanna's and just hung out there for awhile, met some of liz's friends too. While watching tv Phang came by and i bugged him for a bit. I miss talking to him, I used to do that a lot. after that I just went home and popped in a movie and fell asleep!! exciting huh?? and now today (thursday): after getting up this morning I kinda just hung around and talked to stephy a bit. hadn't really talked to her in awhile, been kinda worried that she's been upset at me but it seems it was all a lack of communication. Im glad things are slowly getting back to normal, I definitely missed her......seemed like something was just missing and incomplete!!! after talking to steph I had to run down and get deanna! a couple days ago we went out and bought jeff a bunch of stuff for a package!! to thank him for a great weekend....so today we got together to finish it up and mail it out!! after that she took me out to get lunch and then i came home! i've been pretty much working on this all day long. my life needs some more excitement....i know i know.....but for once im quite happy with it being calm. as for all the other things...with the "friends" im just trying not to think of it right now.....it just gets me down and feeling bad about myself.....so till other things are settled...im just going to avoid thinking of that! good idea, huh?? oh...and lorne...thank you for cheering me up the other day....no one does it quite like you! *winks* lilwolf 1:17 AM 
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