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Tuesday, February 06, 2001 so hey....i learned some things tonight, wanna hear? ok great! I learned that when you stand up for someone when they're getting picked on, when you try to make them feel welcome (when you know inside they feel like they dont), when you invite them out on weekends, when you invite them home with you for breaks, when you talk to them after a break up, when you spend hours talking to them hoping to cheer them up, when you try to give them advice to help them, when you treat them like a sister, when you forgive them for a misunderstanding, when you give it another chance........all that......when you do all that.....i learned you're considered a hypocrite...and a bad friend. Amazing isn't it?? Here I am sitting here upset and beating myself over it......I cried last night furious of what has happened wondering what I had done wrong...wondering was I really a bad person. Then I talked to Lorne and Stephanie and realized that I would not make myself the bad guy...not again and I will not take shit from other people who try to make be that. I had a right to be upset at what happened the night of the rave...and to get that turned around on me.....and to have people who have no knowledge of anything but what they want to think yell at me.....thats when i draw the line and say fuck them. Those who turn the truth around and make up things to make themselves look better for their own personal gain..aren't people I want to hang out with. Of everything thats happened....I have no regrets, I look back and see I tried my hardest and did all I could to make everything work and make everyone happy. I was honest to others (despite what people actually do think, hmm i wonder why??), to peoples feelings, and most importantly myself. Too bad I know for fact..that others cant do that. Lorne: well, don't take it, stand up for yerself and make an argument Lorne: don't let people tell you that it's yer fault Lorne: well fuck em, ya don't need friends like that Lorne: if they're talkin about you in front of you, you don't need them around at all...that's fucked up to lorne and steph....thank you for showing me what true friendship really is. love you both!! lilwolf 3:00 AM 
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