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Wednesday, January 24, 2001 I hate being sick! Along with not sleeping for 4 days....i've had a migraine for 4 days! Im physically and emotionally exhausted! Since I dont have any other way to speak out i'll use this here. I got up this morning sicker than yesterday.....have been barely able to stand without feeling dizzy much less go 5 mins without coughing up a lung or two. Not to mention my stomach has a mind of its own and wont let me breathe correctly without trying to jump out! ugh..i really really hate being sick. It wouldn't be so bad if I was feeling ok in the first place....but with everything going on....its not helping at all. I know lots of people are probably wondering why I haven't talked about whats happened....and I think thats just to keep myself safe. Getting hurt by a boy is nothing compared to being hurt by someone you considered a sister. Knowing that people are against me and maybe even talking bad about me without even talking to me, hurts. Its when you feel the loneliest ever, knowing people you considered friends...dont really care about you at all......especially without knowing why in the first place. Im extremely grateful to have steph and deanna around....i dont think i could have gotten through this last weekend without them. The urge to run and escape was so close, i mean how easy would it have been to run and hide. To forget everything and start new.....or to just go home and feel safe. Because of them and their support I owe them a lot.....i love you guys....thank you for being true sisters. lilwolf 2:55 PM 
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