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Saturday, December 30, 2000 as im sitting here waiting for wiggles to get online and tell me she got home safely....i'll do my daily rants. Today was ok i guess...to a point....I woke up restless since I tossed and turned all night...and had to deal with my parents yelling at me to go and exchange the xmas gifts that were too small. Of course I have to do it...cause they're somehow phsyically incapable of doing so. It wasn't so bad...i pushed it off till around noon and sandro and i headed to the mall....I ended up getting a nice nautica jacket out of the deal! woohoo!! after the mall we headed to borders and I bought another book (yay) and got one for sandro too (he tends to forget he does have this skill called reading) and then headed home for dinner. Jess gave me a call afterwards and let me know she's back in town! woowoo!! I missed her...so im glad she's back! After she left wiggles came over (hence why im waiting for her) and she hung out here while she worked. We ended up going outside like a million and one times because of the puppy lucia....but it was fun. After she was off work (10) we headed off to a movie with Sandro....we ended up seeing "What a Girl Wants" It was a really cute movie.....though it brought a lot of feelings to surface. *sighs* i hate being jealous of things...especially the jealousy where it hurts inside...because its something you want so much....that you crave it. Ever felt like that? where you live, breathe and sleep it....that its constantly running through yer mind that it becomes you?? y'all probably think im nuts...but..its all i can say....i really cant go into it.....i dont think I can even put it to words....the grunt of it is going into my poetry......but......i still haven't found the right release yet......oh well........*looks for a new bottle* i was asked this today: what do you want to do? i want to write.....i want to be an author......why is it the one thing i truly want really doesnt depend on me? and why is it the one thing i'll never be? =[ i just really realized that......ugh ugh ugh...and im on such a different path!!!! its just not mine.....not my path at all..... lilwolf 1:39 AM 
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